The Creation of Adam shown at the Ceiling of Sistine Chapel of the Apostolic Palace in Vatican City.
“Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19
Though my life seemed to be gloomy, dull, and drab like any other youth of my age, God disturbed me. As I looked back on my journey, it seemed clear to me that God has played a larger role in getting me to this point of my life than I have. God worked mysteriosly.
I grew up in Placer, Surigao del Norte where I was raised by my Aglipayan father and Catholic mother as an Aglipayan Christian. As a youngster, I felt more inspired every time I could see a priest saying Mass, and I told myself that I wanted to be like him. Sometimes, I used to set a play altar and tried to say mass for my playmates. That thing pushed me before to believe that “I am for the priesthood.” That was one of my childhood fantasies — pretty funny. But as years passed by, such childhood fantasies of mine were replaced by an ambition of becoming somebody — a big man in the society, a man of career, a man of success.
I thought that those things — my happiness, my abundant life, my ambition, my future, and my family would stay as they were; but as I reached the age of 11, on my 6th grade in elementary school, everything changed. Everything became like ashes being thrown and scattered into the wind — disappeared! My father died at the age of 49. His death marked the beginning of my miseries, worries, and sorrows — the dark age of my life. And by his death, I was made to realize that nobody, even my own relatives, loved me and my mother. They wanted to take away everything what my father has left for me. They kept on telling that I wasn’t my father’s son. They denied my rights as the sole heir of my father’s properties; for my parents were unwed. They claimed that they were the true heirs of such properties. I and my mother were treated as strangers. At that time, there was found no joy in me. My heart was filled with sadness and pain. Tears were made to fall from my very eyes. And for I was blinded by the pain in my heart, I was made to believe that God has abandoned me, and that God doesn’t love me.
It was April 23, 2005, two days after my high school graduation, that I, together with my mother, left my hometown and moved to Sta Rosa City, Laguna to start college. Searching for my career path, I took up Commerce for just two years in the University of Perpetual Help Jonelta System-Biñan Campus. I thought that leaving my past behind — my sorrows, pains, and miseries could make everything new. But I got mistaken. My life became as miserable as what I had before. When I decided to have my house and lot in Surigao be sold, my misfortunes had begun. My cousin Romel decided to buy the said properties and asked me to stay with his family in his apartment. He promised to support me financially in my college studies. Thus, it seemed to be perfect. Yes, in the beginning, it was. But the time came, he denied everything — his promise, our kinship. And the house and lot? I was deceived. I had nothing left. I had nothing. It seemed to be the time that I was buried in the mud of failure and of nothingness. I wanted to delete all of these from my memory, but I couldn’t. I realized that they were alreay part of me — my life.
After all, my journey wasn’t ended yet. A new page of my story was started. Those events made me to leave my former place where my dark memories were molded. At that time, I had my cousin live with me in an apartment. My mother left for Manila to earn for my tuition and rental fees. There, she earned only a thousand pesos as a house helper; and obviously, it wasn’t enough for the fees. After the school year of my second year in college, I found myself alone with my eyes full of tears — had nothing to eat; for my housemates used to leave me everyday for their works yet left nothing for me, none even a single centavo. I could only eat once a day every dinner, and I could do nothing except to drink a glass of water for breakfast and lunch time. That was my life for a couple of weeks. It was hard to believe, but it was the reality. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see not my very self but a face of a poor miserable man — a young man of ambition who suffered from misfortunes, pains, and hunger. At that moment, I looked for God, but I didn’t find Him. “Father, why have you forsaken me?” I cried.
In the middle of my loneliness and nothingness, I realized that God, truly, was with me. It was midday, while sitting down on the floor in silence, that I heard the voice of God in my heart, saying, “Do not be afraid… Come and see!” It seemed to be just a silent whisper I felt in my heart. I closed my eyes, and tears had started to run down my cheeks. And the words I uttered in response were, “I will become a priest, a Catholic priest.” I knelt down and prayed. I reflected, meditated, and asked God’s guidance in this revelation — the revelation of the divine vocation. I realized that I could no longer run from such wonderful invitation. How could I?
Along this journey, I realized that God never abandoned me, never left me; that everything was His plan; that everything was permitted, for me to realize exactly how much He loved me, how much I needed Him.
Inside the Our Lady of Angels Parish Church at Atimonan, Quezon.
It was April 3, 2007 when I moved to Atimonan, Quezon for the realization of such vocation. On April 21 of the same year, I took up the entrance examination at St. Joseph Formation Institute in Pagbilao, Quezon. In God’s grace, I was admitted to the seminary and underwent my formation there for one year. My entire formation there led me and my vocation to grow deeper and stronger. It was in God’s will that through this vocation, I was converted from Aglipayanism to Catholicism. I received the sacraments of Baptism and of Confirmation last July 2, 2007. It was one of God’s greatest miracles I experienced — a total conversion, the reconciliation, the enlightenment.
However, my first encouter with the Dominican Order was in the four corners of the classroom; for the Dominicans were part of the country’s great history. But my deepest and inextinguishable desire of embracing a religious life through the Order was deeply rooted in me when I was introduced by Br. Albert, a former Dominican novice, to the charism of the Order of Preachers. I wasn’t able to enter the Order at that time because I was already admitted to the Diocesan seminary. But I promised to myself that I would join the Order after a year of formation in the secular seminary. Yes, it did happen. I became part of the Order in 2008 and studied there only until Postulancy. At first, I thought it was already very clear to me the path where I would be going to but it seemed that the Lord has a bigger plan for me ahead instead. At present, I am employed in a BPO company as an Operations Supervisor and at the same time, engaged in the apologetic ministry.
The Dormitory of the Aspirants inside the St. Albert the Great Seminary — Pre-Novitiate House of the Order of Preacher – Dominican Province of the Philippines at Bucal, Calamba City.
Sometimes, it’s hard to understand the ways of God; for they are so mysterious. Just open your heart in order for them to be understood; and listen to His voice in silence, and you’ll know that He is speaking with you. For this, may your response be: “Here I am, Lord. I come to do Your will.”
