Jesus deep in Prayer to prepare Himself for difficult Missions. It is very important in the life of a Seminarian.
I was inspired by the sharing of my brother in apologetics which is Sem. Ryan Aimmanuel Torotoro, I knew him personally very well from his struggle in highschool at New Era University at the back of the INC Central Temple when his INC classmates bullied him and his teachers forced him to believe on the INC. When I have my search-in at San Carlos Seminary, he was my companion there. That is why after reading his sharing, it inspired me and prompted me also to tell the story of my seminary experience, but in a different perspective because Ryan entered the diocesan seminary while I entered a religious congregation.
Seminary life for me is really a very challenging life, where you have to adjust a lot into your new environment, leaving the comfort zones of home. I entered the seminary last year after I attended the CFD National Convention at Talamban Cebu together with some delegates from CFD Cavite and Tarlac. At that time, after experiencing having work outside for 2 years, I come to a point of deciding to enter the seminary. I tried several congregations namely the San Carlos Seminary which I had my overnight search in and one time with Ryan Torotoro, then I also tried the Piarist, Passionist and lastly the Servites where I now belong. It’s not easy to look for a seminary since, being a former seminarian myself, some seminaries have their own requirements for a person who desires to enter the seminary, it was a long process, really. It is really a trial and error for me to try applying to other seminaries. Because of this uncertainty and confusion on my part, I don’t know what to do then, either I will be patient enough to try other seminaries or rather forget seminary and look for another job. Summer vacation is going to an end, and there was still no response from the other seminaries. The Piarist informed me that I did not pass their requirements, while the Passionist and Servites still had no response yet then and it was already the middle of May and classes will begin in June. My body run cold because of this confusion, I was worried at the time because I began to have thoughts “What am I going to do? Still has no response, should I still continue? Should I still pursue my vocation or not? Or am I just wasting my time waiting? God please help me.” It was really terrible at that time because of long time of waiting. I began to question God at that time “Lord, what do you want for me? Why me?, if you want me to become a priest, please help me that one of the seminaries will respond to me, if no, please help me to be informed that I failed.” , but still with full trust in God, I really get my rosary while holding my celphone and texting the vocation directors regarding my application. I really ask the help of Mama Mary at this time to help me and guide me in this moment. And suddenly there was a response to my text, and that is the Servite Vocation Director informing me of the application that I have because I passed, and he told me that the reporting is still undergoing, and it started on May 20, since it was too late and I have a flight schedule to Cebu on May 25, I told him that I will enter at May 27. My confusion was changed into joy at that moment.
When I entered the seminary on May 27, 2013, it was really a happy moment because God had not abandoned me. Before I entered the seminary, my parents were surprised at that moment because I did not inform them that I applied, they were caught off guard, I also informed my personal spiritual director which is a priest and also my parish priest and they were happy at this and my parish priest said “Sana tuloy, tuloy nay yan! Pagbutihin mo sa loob at magpersevere ka!”. Some of my friends asked me“Sigurado ka na ba diyan sa desisyon mo?” and I told them yes. My parents brought me to the seminary in the afternoon, I was received hospitably by my companions and the Prior and Master of Pre-Novices (superior) accepted me into the seminary. And this is the beginning of what my life would be in the seminary. I remember a passage in the Bible which says:
“My son, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials. Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity. Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great. “ (Sirach 2:1-3, New American Bible)
Entering the seminary entails encountering many trials and difficulties, one of them was adjusting to the new community which I entered. There is always the experience of being misunderstood by the formators and co-seminarians and also the experience of being homesick, missing the comforts of home life and social life with friends. Since seminary life is a structured life, wherein there is a certain schedule and rules to be followed, there was a time where I experience that everything seems to me a routinary activity already. Yet, in spite of this, I don’t give up but rather one of my most favorite personal activity is prayer, not just a structured and routine prayer but rather the prayer of silence and contemplation especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament where I draw the strength in my vocation. Yet, in spite of the many difficulties and trials I still hold on to Christ. Now since I am already finished with my Philosophical studies from the previous seminary before I entered here, my personal habit now is no longer focused on Philosophy but to finish reading the whole Old Testament, since I have finished already with the New Testament before I entered, and reading the whole Catechism and other apologetic books to increase my knowledge of the faith and apologetics which I really love the most especially when I started joining the Catholic Faith Defenders of which I am also a member of the Cavite Chapter. I also share my knowledge of apologetics with my companions in the seminary and some of them really admire the CFD especially when they watch the debates of the CFD apologists against the different sects at youtube. Now I am already in my second year stay in the seminary and being fourth year in the formation. Yet still trials and difficulties of seminary life is ongoing and I always remember this Bible verse:
“ Beloved, do not be surprised that a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you. But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may also rejoice exultantly.” (1 Peter 4:12-13, New American Bible)
I am now accepted recently in the Pre-Novitiate and hopefully will be accepted for the Novitiate. Of course, I know God is a good God who never abandons those who love him and does not give them trials which is beyond their capacity. The only weapon that a seminarian should always have is a strong faith and prayer life whatever happens. And of course they should also try the prayer of silence and contemplation which will help them to be relax in spite of all the trials and difficulties which they encounter along the way.