San Carlos Seminary – Formation Year Department Seminarians. Ryan is 6th from right.
SEMINARY LIFE
“I thought it was easy, but it was hard; full of trials and difficulties. But my life in the seminary makes me happy. I thought it was sad being away with my family to be living in here but I was wrong, I am very happy now with my life inside the seminary.”
Living in the seminary is like staying in the purgatory. You are being cleansed, purified, to be formed as a good, humble and holy priest someday.
This story that I would like to share is my true story since I started applying to San Carlos Seminary. My story of my calling to priesthood is very long. So I decided to start from my application until I passed the entrance examinations and interviews, and of course, my life inside the Seminary…
“Sigurado ka na ba diyan sa desisyon mo? Mahirap ‘yan anak… Pero kung ‘yan ang gusto mo susuportahan kita. Wala naman ako magagawa kundi ang suportahan ka e…”, This was my father’s message to me when I told him that I wanted to study in the Seminary. At first, he doesn’t want me to study for priesthood because I am the only boy in the family, but I thanked God because He let my father changed his mind and supported my vocation to priesthood.
So I started to apply in San Carlos Seminary along EDSA Guadalupe, Makati. I started to apply on the second week of March. I was able to complete my requirements that time, and I called the Admissions office of the Seminary. Unfortunately, the secretary told me that the Admission for the newcomers was over. I was depressed that time. I knew that it was my fault because I didn’t apply earlier than March. I didn’t know what to do then. I was deeply troubled. I asked God, “What am I going to do now? I want to enter the seminary.” I prayed the Holy Rosary in our Parish. I prayed to the Blessed Virgin Mary to let me be accepted in San Carlos Seminary because that was the seminary that I dream of.
Asking the intercession of Mama Mary for priestly vocation
Then what happened next? The Blessed Virgin answered me! She never let me stay in trouble. The following day, after my prayer to the Blessed Mother, the Secretary called through my cellphone number. She said that the Admission Director of the Seminary allowed me to apply as a newcomer. She made sure that I have completed the requirements needed to apply and to take the entrance exam. I was shocked. I never expected that this will happen. I felt joy and excitement, at the same time nervous. I thanked God and Mama Mary for these answered prayers.
Moving on, I was the last one who applied in San Carlos Seminary. I took the entrance exam and pre-interview alone, then the Psychological Exam, and the final interview. It all happened within one week only. And I suffered from headache. I can’t forget the day of the Final Interview (March 24). I was exhausted that time that it made me suffer from a 39.8 degree Celsius fever. I was so exhausted that time because it was also the day of our general practice for High School graduation. Honestly, I can’t remember my answers on the questions of Fr. Jocis Syquia and two other priests, during the final interview. Fortunately, I was in good health when I woke up for our Baccalaureate Mass the next day.
Then the time came to let us know the results of our application in the seminary. It was the last day of March when I got the result. While on my way I felt both nervous and excitement. I was thinking of not passing the application. But when I got the letter, it read that I passed the application and that letter welcomed me in the Community of San Carlos Seminary (Formation Year Department).
Sem. Ryan in front of the San Carlos Seminary
The day of our arrival in the Seminary is on June 1, 2014. It is the Solemnity of the Ascension of our Lord and also the 5th death anniversary of my Beloved mother. I served at the 7am Mass in our Parish and at the same time, it was my last serve in the parish as an altar server, because I am now a Seminarian. Before the final blessing, our parish priest introduced me and the other two new seminarians who will also study for priesthood but in not in San Carlos. They will be on St. Camillus College Seminary in Marikina. On this event, I felt sadness. I have to leave our parish which used to be my second home. I must leave my co-altar servers. The two of the servers gave me a letter of gratitude for all the good things I have done for them. “Mamimiss ka namin Kuya!” one of the servers told me. I will also miss them, and the days spent having a bonding with them. I will surely miss those moments.
Ryan the Altar Boy
Then the time that I need to go in the seminary arrived. The call time in the Seminary was 2pm. While on my way with my family I felt sadness. Sadness filled me. This is because I will be detached from my family. I thought of backing out but I stayed. We attended Mass, ate merienda, and the time came to say farewell to our family members. Honestly, I cried. I cried because I need to separate myself from my family and put my trust on God to guide them. “Anak, kung hindi mo kaya, huwag mo nang ipilit pa. Susunduin ka namin. Pero pag-isipan mo mabuti yan. Andito lang kami anuman ang maging desisyon mo” my father told me that made me cry again.
And when they left, the new seminarians including me went upstairs to prepare ourselves for the Rosary. We are all 15 FY Seminarians; fifteen lives that will be changed and formed in the Seminary. Fifteen young men who answered the call of God. We all experienced the difficulties, adjustments to the new environment, adjustment to new spiritual family, and a lot more challenges.
On my first night, my mind was returning home. After our dinner, when the cellphones were not yet surrendered to the formator, I texted my sister saying “Kamusta na kayo diyan ate? Miss ko na kayo agad. Haha.” And then she replied, “Kakauwi lang namin. Ingat ka diyan ha. Miss na din kita. Basta galingan mo diyan kasi ikaw pumili niyan. Kapag naisip mo na di mo na kaya mag-isip kang mabuti. Pero kahit anong maging desisyon mo andito lang kami para sa’yo. Susuportahan ka namin. I’m so proud of you baby…” With this message from my sister, tears flowed from my eyes. It was the first time that my sister expressed in such a manner how proud she is of me! This message made sleep harder for me every night during my first week of formation.
And then, the next day followed, our second day. Still, we were adjusting to our new environment. I thought of backing out. I thought of myself crying in the prayer room everyday because I thought that I cannot become independent. I can’t live without my family. But I also thought that it was too early to leave, and I don’t yet discover the joy that the seminary has. I thought about all these things for almost the whole month of June.
Praying together in the Seminary Chapel. Sem. Ryan is at the far end.
The second week came, and one of our co-seminarian from Pasig Diocese left because of homesickness. He cannot live without his family. Despite of our efforts to comfort him, even though all of us experience the same problem, he took regency and left the seminary after two weeks.
Last June 27, we had our pilgrimage in Antipolo before our first home weekend. Of course, I was excited but then nervous. It was my first time to walk from the seminary up to the Cathedral of Antipolo for almost four hours. I thought of giving up and riding the L300 van because I’m too tired to walk the 16km road going up to Antipolo. But then I made it! After the 4-hour walk and rest, I made it to Antipolo! I cannot believe what I have done. I never thought that I can make it to Antipolo by feet. On this event I realized the value of patience. I used to ask my co-seminarian if we are already near the cathedral. I lose my patience every time that he will say that we are still too far. I realized this value for my vocation. If I have no patience, then it will be easy for me to give up my vocation.